Sometimes I feel an urge to get lost in the wilderness . I just feel like giving up this ‘good for nothing’ life . Though I can’t actually do it but I dream of such places very often . Perhaps my subconscious mind just tries to provide me some solace while I am asleep .
In the dreams I find myself in the midst of vast empty terrains without any trace of other human beings . I can only see barren expanses touching the sky in the horizon . But I never see the Sun . I always see the azure sky with the Sun covered with white clouds and the golden hue spreading all over . Sometimes I also see the entire sky covered with thick dark clouds and the wind blowing violently and hitting me at my face . Human beings or anything man made never intrude my mindscape during such occasions . Such ethereal imagery gives me an immense sense of ecstasy which I never get when I am fully awake and dealing with the tangible world .
I have always been fascinated by clouds and rains . Even hailstorms act like aphrodisiac for me . That is why such things appear in my dreams so frequently . Also occasional solitude is a good way to regroup and introspect . That is why I find myself in wilderness . But sometimes the urge to escape to the dreamland in reality becomes insatiable and yet unachievable . It actually gives me immense pain and the phantasmagoria ends with the Sun tearing apart the clouds and scorching my face , which turns out to be a reality when I open my eyes and find out that it is already morning .
My escapism leads me to nowhere & only the last part of the dreams remind me of the reality and the unavoidability of it . Dreams remain dreams and I get back to the day to day labyrinth of hope, effort and failure . So I wait for the night to undertake another utopian escape to the dreamland .